In Honour of Kissing ...Day

My WonderTwin requested "perfect lipsticks and lip glosses in pinkberry shades"; unfortunately, I don't entirely know what that means :p So, this is going to be "How to get a perfect lip for summer". Mostly because I don't have very many "pinkberry shades" and I find that getting a good lip and keeping it can be a hassle. This coincides nicely with yesterday having been International Kissing Day. This post will likely be filled with my own opinions, pretty colours, and a few embarrassing kissing stories.

Now, I'm no Kylie when it comes to lips; but I think mine are rather nice. They work. The Orbicularis Oris muscle is used often; that's the one that "puckers and blows", read that how you want, it was the definition in my anatomy textbook. The professor had to add trumpets after that sentence so he didn't get in trouble. The Buccinator is also used often, he helps me chew, smile, whistle. All things I am very good at. But only if I want to, please don't tell me I'd be prettier if I smiled more. It's also good practice not to tell a woman she would be prettier if she chewed more, that's just weird. So apparently, International Kissing Day came about as a way to celebrate the kiss. It doesn't have to be sexy or life changing, as teenagers seem to imagine. I kiss my momma all the time, despite how much I swear. I also kiss my puppy dog and my cats, much to their chagrin. Without lips, this act would be terrifying. Without lipstick and lipgloss, kisses may be neater, but not as colourful. And quick note: those Rainbow Parties were all a lie used by media to scare parents. So cool your jets.

I actually had a fair bit of fun trying all of my colours last night. Mom thought I was crazy. I did get a really nice picture of all of my colours afterwards though. It's on my Instagram, but I can definitely post it here too. This "guide" is going to be step-by-step, and ideally easy to follow. So good luck to all of us. If yo're at all worried about the "rules" that say no bold lips if you have a bold eye. Screw that rule. You do you friend.

1. Brush your teeth. Ya Nasty.

2. (optional) Scrub. If your lips are already perfectly smooth, great! You don't have to do this then. If not, now wold be a good time to gently scrub your lips. Some of you may have a fancy schmancy product designed for such tasks. Good on ya! I hope they aren't any of those "micro bead" ones though, because those are now a toxic substance and are bad. They hurt the little fishies in the water. For those of you who are less prepared for life, like me, a gentle scrub with your toothbrush will work great too.

3. Wash your face. You got tooth paste and lip skin all over it. Gross.

4. Moisturize. This may not make a lot of sense to you, because your face was just wet and lip glosses and lipsticks often have a moisturizer built in. But not all of them are 2-in-1 or 3-in-1 or whatever. I always moisturize my entire body with an old family secret product before I add any other products. This includes my lips. They are a part of me. Anyways, if you promise not to judge me or be weirded out. I will tell you the name of the secret moisturizer. Promise?... Okay,. I'll tell you. My mother's family, for generations, are cattle ranchers. Sometimes, will all the milking or due to our harsh winters, cow teats can get chapped. Thankfully, sheep produce something that helps with this issue. In sheep's wool is something called lanolin, and this makes their wool soft and water repellent. Someone long ago realized that their skin always felt so soft after working wool and eventually someone (GOD?) made lanolin ointment a thing to buy. You can get it at vet clinic. Just don't tell them why you're using it, they get weirded out. Circling back to my story, my family also figured out that this ointment worked great for healing the cuts ans chafes on their cows so they started using it on their own rough hands. The ingredients are basically a vaseline like gel and lanolin oil. So simple, so wonderful. Whenever I pull my tub of it out, people think I'm crazy. But anyone who has felt my skin, made-out with me, or decided to try the stuff themselves can attest to how perfect it is. If you need more help to accept it, the exact same company also created "Utterly Smooth" lanolin lotion. So it's cool people.

If you can't handle organic awesomeness, use whatever you got for lip moisturizers. You need a good smooth, healed base for your lip stick/gloss. Otherwise it sinks into the cracks and looks messy. Do this before the next step so it can have time to set in.

5. Put on your make-up. While you can wear lipstick/lip gloss without a full face; I think it makes waaaaay more sense if you have at least something else on your face so you don't have awesome lips and naked everything else. Plus, lips should always be done after everything else.

6. Line. This is crucial for lipsticks, less so for glosses, because even the best lipstick can bleed. Furthermore, it helps to accentuate you actual lip shape; just in case you are a novice, but also because it makes a more bold statement. Glosses don't need this because they do not stay as long as a lipstick, and then you end up with a line around your lips and nothing in between. With the liner, I find it best to go from the bow to the corner of the lip and I always make an "X" shape from the bow to the middle of the lip to help define that are. I then make a triangle on the bottom lip underneath that "X" shape to draw extra attention there. I find it really helps to accentuate that area for a more puckered appearance.

7. Apply. Isn't it wonderful how lipsticks are already shaped for your mouth? Makes it pretty easy to apply, so long as your lips are shaped that way. You don't have to be limited to using the thing the way it looks. I like to use the very tip of the lipstick and trace the inside of lip liner line before I then use the cut-out of the lipstick to go over my lips. I always start from the bow of the lip out to the corners, top and then bottom lip. with the two lines on the outside, I find it easier to stay on the lip and not escape a la Joker style.

8. Blot. Once the colour is applied, wait a minute before you blot. During that time, be absolutely certain not to change the shape of the mouth too much. This will give it time to set into the lip itself and will be less likely to transfer to teeth. After a little wait, you can lightly blot with a tissue. I likely to gently press my lips over a the tissue, but if the lipstick is really dark or bold, I prefer instead to wrap the tissue around a finger and press my lips in an "O" shape around the tissue on the finger that way. This way, I get the areas that are most likely to transfer, but without taking off too much colour in the middle, where it is most noticeable.

9. (optional) Outline with concealer. I only do this with bold colours. Or when I made a total mess of the colour. this just helps to touch up any areas around the lip that may be coloured when they weren't supposed to. Do this stage lightly, if at all so you don't end up getting concealer all over your lips. It acts as a last step in case of colour bleeds. After this, if you have a set spray, use it. Then you're done.

10. Go kiss! Be sure to always pack your colour for throughout the day. You never know what you may be doing. To avoid the sun ruining your look, you will want to do a few touch ups.

These are the colours and brands I own. All body parts attached to the images below are not mine. From right to left/top to bottom. Spellbound, Hot Passion, Pink Star, Berry Queen, Darling, Bronze Goddess.

I would love to be more adventurous with my colours. I like making a statement and a stranger at a make-up counter in a Sears a long time ago told me I had model lips. Why not use that feature for something bold. Unfortunately, I also have a dad who scowls at me for the "too much, too bright" on my face. Then he points at my face and shakes his head in disdain. I don't wear makeup around him. Or high heels, he told me once to stay in the truck because I might offend the Huderites. He's a fun fellow.

Now, time for the aforementioned kissing stories. I had my first kiss when I was 15. It occurred at school with my then boyfriend. This was allowable because I went to public school. I had been "dating" this boy for a few days when one evening on MSN he told me would kiss me the next time he saw me. That happened to be the next day at school. I was leaning against my locker with my girlfriends when he walked up to us. He was wearing this baseball hat and looked really nervous. He kind of asked my consent and then just grabbed my shoulders and leaned in. My friends were all giggling but also grossed out because I was the first of the group to find a boy. Time seemed to stop, but for all the wrong reasons. His stupid hat was the first thing to make contact because he moved in so fast. The bill smacked my forehead and the back of my head hit my locker behind me, causing me to rebound into his hat again. He didn't even notice and so my head bounced a bit more until his lips finally met mine. I don't even think it was good, all I remember is this tunnel vision of him coming in at me and my head hurting while my friends laughed. He thought it was great because we were in love after that for two whole weeks. High school was great.

Another time, with my first real boyfriend; we were making out on his dorm bunk bed. We'd been kissing for a really long time and I didn't get my nap that day. So at some point I fell asleep. I don't even remember doing it. Just waking up afterwards and wondering where he went. He never mentioned me sleeping. Hopefully he thought I was so wowed by his skills that I passed out from pure joy or something. I was definitely out for at least three hours though.

My one last thing with lipsticks though is this colour and the real life face-off. This colour is called Deepest Cherry and it is number 420 by Maybelline. This girlstole my face and she is now a beauty model somewhere. I bought the lipstick so I could be beautiful just like her/me. Even my mom and sister thought she was me. Was I cloned? Lost twin? I hope this mystery gets solved.